In July 2012, I woke up to a Drum cover that TORE my soul to shreds. It shattered my spirit, destroyed my dignity and for the very first time in my life, brought me to my knees. I thought about it today because a friend of mine asked me WHY it’s so difficult for some people to say ‘I’m sorry”. Written by a FEMALE Editor, I was accused of being in a ‘sex orgy’, taking part in a massive drug party and of aborting a child. A picture of me was placed on a cover, and I was quoted from an interview that never happened. I remember reading this article over the internet and collpasing to the ground. I. WAS. NUMB!
Many untrue things have been said about me in the media but for the very FIRST time, I felt like I needed to do something about it because this publication had gone too far. I contacted the office of the Press Ombudsman (who, by the way, are incredibly helpful), filed a complaint and FINALLY received a date for a hearing. The day did arrive- the hearing lasted a little over 4 hours and below is what the Ombudsman concluded from that hearing:
The ombudsman dismissed the complaint that Drum had published sensational material about Matheba as this was not in breach of the Press Code.
It had also breached the code for reporting the unsupported allegations of just one source that Matheba was a drug addict, featured in a sex tape and was a cheat, and for not pointing out that the allegations had not been verified.
The words “apparently” and “allegations” were not strong enough to warrant their publication, and this had caused Matheba unnecessary harm, the ombudsman found.
The magazine was directed to apologise on its front page and inside the magazine for publishing the medical records, for publishing unfounded allegations and not reporting that it was doing so, and for making up quotes or ascribing words to Matheba in the cover-lines.
It was also instructed to apologise for accepting and publishing allegations from an anonymous source without exercising reasonable care in questioning the source’s motives.
Months have passed, the pain has vanished and the apology…..well, it never came. Just made me think that sometimes- you HAVE to fight for what’s right even if the other party doesn’t ‘come to the party’ then, MOVE ON!!! Remove the anger and the pain. Let go of the worry and pray for the strength to forgive and in this case, forget. I said to this friend of mine that most of the time, the ‘I’m sorry’ never comes. And most of the time waiting for it will only deter you from concentrating on the OTHER amazing things that are happening in your life, in your space.
In my case however, my soul and spirit were at peace knowing that I tried to stand up for myself and the many that will come after me.So many more wonderful things have happened since then, it would be an injustice to myself to focus on the negative or to expect another to acknowledge their wrong.I’ll never know the reasons why it happened but a small part of me is glad it did. I had hit rock bottom, I guess the only way now is UP!
So to you, MY FRIEND – Do what’s right, then move on… God will take care of the rest. Never try to get ‘even’ with anyone. It WILL hurt, we’re human, and that’s fine. God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.. It doesnt have to make sense to you now, but one day it will.
Smile, everything is going to be okay.
Have a great weekend… love, B*